Believing on Purpose

I will never forget a visit I had with my supervisor in the Meridian Temple. She had asked me if I was willing to be a coordinator on my 4 hour shift in the baptistry. I had been acting as one for the past couple of weeks, and I was struggling with how I felt about it. I told her that I was in charge of so many things--at home and church--so many things I had coming up with moving, building, and my son's wedding. When I came to the temple, I really didn't want to be in charge of anything. I just wanted to serve and more fully feel the peace of the Spirit there. She suggested to me that I probably needed to be still and know that He is God. I agreed that that was exactly what I needed. She then suggested something I will never forget. She said to take that scripture and reverse it. Know God so that I might be still. It was at that point that I began to really understand the importance of "learn of me" from the scripture in D&C 19:23. If I wanted peace, I needed to ...

I remember I was serving in Young Women's when the year's theme, "Peace in Christ" came from that awesome scripture in D&C 19:23 that says, "Learn of me, and listen to my words; walk in the meekness of my Spirit, and ye shall have peace in me". I was so excited because I had my recipe! Only took me over 40 years to figure that out...even though it was right in front of me for years. I was really seeking peace in my life. So I tried really hard to do all those things to have peace. I focused on meekness for a long time. I read books on it, studied it...my favorite thing I learned about meekness came from Sister Patricia Holland. She said, "Meekness is walking with God." If I could learn to control my emotions with meekness--express them at the right time in the right way, just the way God wanted me to--wow backwards! Wouldn't that be great?! (But back then I didn't understand that my emotions are controlled by my thoughts. Hold on...

Some amazing things happened to me, and I can totally see the timing in it. It started when my kids started growing up and not needing me so much. I'd always prided myself on teaching my kids to be self-sufficient, so they really didn't need me much. What was I to do now? I didn't have any hobbies or talents because I'd spent 25 years pleasing and helping my husband and kids with their talents and dreams. What were my talents and dreams? What did I even like to do? Without my family, did I even have purpose? As I began to search for purpose, or even things I enjoyed doing, I struggled. I didn't know how to do that. And I had so much time on my hands that I started looking for reasons for my lack of talent or reasons I never pursued things that I wanted to do. That resentment came creeping right back in. I started to blame others for my own problems, as if they were the reason I had neglected myself. My relationships began to struggle. With that blaming g...

Once upon a time I met a wonderful man that I fell in love with, pretty much at first sight. He was gorgeous, totally buff, athletic, smart, studious, fun, adventurous, and had big dreams. He swept me off my feet, serenading me with his great voice and amazing piano skills. He wanted a family, me to be a stay-at-home-Mom, came from an amazing family, had a great career in mind…so I had it all. We got married and lived happily ever after for a long while... I loved this man so much, I was willing to do anything for him. I wanted to make him happy and please him. So much that at some point I would sacrifice my own happiness to try to please him. And that's exactly what I did. A lot. Poor guy didn't even know about it most of the time, but it began to lead to resentment on my part. Over time, my feelings of self-worth became based on whether or not I thought I was good enough for him, or I thought he thought I was good enough for him.  So I continuously tried to please him m...

Hi. Let me introduce myself. I am MarciMom. I’m a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am a disciple of Christ. I’m a daughter, a wife, a mom, a sister, an aunt, and a grandma! And I’m over 50 years young, although my kids say I don’t look a day over 29. Love those kids! I’ve had struggles just like the best of you. Marriage struggles. Parenting struggles. Faith crisis struggles. Health struggles. Money struggles. Extended family struggles. Self-worth struggles. You know. Most of the normal life stuff. But over the last couple of years, I am learning and growing in the gospel, learning so much about Him and myself—and I’m making changes. Because you can’t change anyone else but yourself.   And it has the greatest rewards when you do. I’m talking sweet joy. Because I started to discover who I really am. Because I started to discover who He really is. And then I wanted to change and become someone I was always meant to be. Someone amazing! And I found out ...