Believing on Purpose

The picture on my blog is neutral. To me, it's a beautiful sunrise just coming over a view of majestic mountain tops, covered with snow topped evergreens--serene and peaceful. To others who might be stranded outside in this scene might think of it as a death trap, depending on the temperature and how long they've been out in it. But I was snug in my warm bed in our family cabin at the time this picture was taken, and I came out 20 minutes later and reveled in the view, but sad I missed the sunrise moment. Isn't it interesting how many thoughts and perspectives there can be of one view? And interesting the thought we might have when we think we missed out?  Here's an interesting tidbit: Our brains continually produce thoughts over and over again. Some people call these thought loops. On auto pilot, our brain wants to keep doing the same thing, just like when we move to a new house, sometimes we find ourselves driving home to the old house because our brai...

Circumstances are neutral Siri defines a circumstance as “A fact or condition connected with or relevant to an event or action." So circumstances are those things that are the facts. We might think of them as things that can be proven in court. They are the facts of what happened or is happening to us or around us (not the opinions). Circumstances are things like weather, the loss or gain of employment, something someone did or said, the number on the scale, etc. Circumstances are completely neutral. It is not until we make them mean something with our thoughts that they no longer seem neutral to us because our brain doesn't want to think neutrally about circumstances.  So at first I totally accepted this concept until a friend of mine challenged me on it. She said she didn't believe circumstances are neutral because there is good and evil in the world. So I started delving more into it and I came to a much better understanding. There are laws o...

The CTFAR model The CTFAR (Circumstances, Thoughts, Feelings, Actions, Results) model (created by many great scholars but implemented into a model by Brooke Castillo), is a powerful tool I use in my own self coaching. With this model, you can plug in any thing happening in any situation and better understand what is going on in your mind, and then decide if you want to make changes or not to get the results you are looking for. That brain of ours is a powerful thing. It’s amazing how it can keep us alive. And it comes up with all kinds of thoughts that cause our feelings and actions and results. In fact, they say we think 40,000 thoughts a day. That sounds exhausting just thinking about it! So let me explain Brooke's model. Our Circumstances trigger thoughts. Our Thoughts create our feelings. Our Feelings fuel our actions. Our Actions determine our Results. C=CIRCUMSTANCE - factual, without opinion - This part is out of your control.     ...

It's interesting how sometimes we don't have a clue that we might be struggling with a self-worth problem. But I've found that usually when we're regularly unhappy with our circumstances, it's because we're struggling inside. When I became aware of my issues with self-worth, I slowly began to recognize when I was heading down that path. I could then redirect myself, and I started seeing changes in myself and I began noticing that I was happier with my life and with the people in it. About this time, my sister came across some pretty great uplifting podcasts. The more I listened to them, the more everything with my latest changes made sense. And I wanted to know more. It felt inspired, and I felt enlightened. I really believe that the Lord directed my path perfectly. It took several years for me to get to the point where I was, but I couldn't have done it better any other way. And I knew the Lord was in charge, and His plan for me was happening just as it sho...

There came a point in my journey that I started to consider counseling. My sister was getting so much out of it, and sharing so much great stuff with me. But going to counseling usually meant there must be something wrong with me (shame). And I didn't want to go there. When I finally realized that counseling could help me and didn't mean anything was wrong with me, I decided to pray about it. And the Lord told me that counseling would be good for me. And it was! It helped me so much! Most importantly I learned about my struggles with self-worth, which I didn't even know was an issue for me. I was confident, independent, very capable of doing amazing things...and I had no idea that I didn't believe I was important unless I believed others thought I was important. I didn't believe I was good enough unless I believed others thought I was good enough. My brain would look for proof of this or against this all the time. And when I thought I saw evidence that others didn...